It's 11/15, and for the eighth year in a row, I'm in the middle of writing a novel. And for about the fourth year in a row, while everyone else is freaking out about how cuh-RAAAAZY they are to take on such a thing, I'll finish up with about 10 days' worth of actual work.

I feel like I'm in a sort of crummy limbo between  those folks who are able to write fiction for a living and those folks who are content to continue writing as a hobby. I send stuff out regularly, but not as much of it gets picked up as I would like. And in the meantime, I have a kid who's getting ready for college, and another one who's still little but with expensive tastes - the kind that parents can't refuse like band and dance lessons.

So, while I'm still trying to figure out the finances of writing eight years on, there is one thing that I'm getting much better at. The first year I did this nearly ended my relatively new relationship. My kids were eight years younger, one of them still in diapers, and my about-to-be fiance had precious little experience of small children. To have me take a parental leave of absence in his first few months as a parent-in-residence was likely a little unfair of me.

But, to his everlasting credit, he didn't leave.

It seems that I'm not alone in trying to figure out how to do the equivalent of taking on a second, unpaid job every November. There are entire threads in the Nanowrimo forums of people trying to figure out how to get this to work.

Here's what I've figured out so far:

• I can't do it on my own.

I'm an utter perfectionist. I need to make sure that not only is the house clean, are the kids fed, all the errands run, and everyone happy, but I need to do all those things MYSELF. But during November, it's just not worth the headache. During November, I have to constantly remind myself to ask for and accept help.

• Good enough has to be good enough

I can drive myself crazy making sure that everything goes perfectly 100% of the time (which it doesn't, even when it's not November), or I can just say "I'm going to do my best and worry about it later." Sometimes, this takes the addition of gin.

• Don't get distracted

I'd love to have time to paint my toenails, sew a dress, learn to cook good Chinese food or knit a car cozy, but November is just not the time. Of course, because my brain is already in creative mode during November, November is when I come up with all these great ideas. For this, I depend on copious note-taking and the hope that I will retain my enthusiasm, even as the weather warms up.

• I have to be good at this

It's one thing to ask my family to support me in something that takes up an extra hour or two  a day. It's something else again to ask them to do without me for an entire month. During the first Nanowrimo, that's what happened. I was AWOL for the entire month because I was new at this. With time and practice, I've gotten it down to a couple of hours a day, broken up over one or two sessions.

• Nothing bad happens if I don't do it

At the end of the day, if I don't "finish," I'm no worse off that I was at the beginning. Remember the part where I said I'm still not raking in the big bucks from this? Most other things in my life, including my kids, my husband, my job and my pets are a higher priority than this. One day, when this becomes my primary income, that might change. In the meantime, I have to remember on which side my bread is buttered.

I'm feeling like kind of a remedial student. I mean, it's crazy that I've been at this for nearly a decade and I'm still trying to figure it all out. But I have full faith and confidence that I'll have it completely solved soon. And the minute I do, it will all change again, I'm sure.